If you know of Dave Ramsey...you know what I just said.
If you don't know of Dave Ramsey - get to know him.
TODAY
"Owe no one anything except to love one another." - Romans 13:8
Last week my mom gave me the second-most precious gift in my life. (The first of course being my life). That may sound dramatic, but you will understand what I mean in a moment. Mom offered to watch the kids if Dean and I wanted to go down to our church and sit in on a session of Financial Peace University. I didn't even hesitate.
We may not be the most regular (ahem) of church-goers, but we have heard of Dave Ramsey. I have seen his name mentioned in blog after blog - glowing reviews about how his financial advice turned their lives around and gave them their freedom from debt. I skirted around investigating his ideas, but I always shied away because I feared that this was one of 'those' programs... 'Jesus said to do this', 'Jesus said to do that', 'Salavation cannot be yours if you are in debt...' 'You must tithe your first-born to get right with God'... okay, okay, I know I am being facetious, but when the social media-driven Christian Conservative message pendulum swings so far to the right (at times), you can't help but feel alienated and...well, like a loser if you just don't feel the same. This isn't a religion/spiritual blog, but isn't it funny (ridiculous?) how religion and finances (and politics too, for that matter) get all tangled up with each other?
I am happy to report that it is not one of those programs. He is funny. He mentions God. He mentions Bible passages. Yet - it is the kind of message I understand and feel at home listening too. I wish he were a minister as well - I would go every Sunday. (Now that is saying something) The Bible passages are advice from the ages that still rings true today. Here is the most pertinent...
"The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender." - Proverbs 22:7
Okay - I need to breathe for a moment because I have just quoted the Bible. Twice. Not my style, but you have to understand where I have been, and where I want to go...
Where I have been:
How old were you when you got your first credit card? I opened my checking account when I was 16. I don't recall exactly when I got my Visa bankcard, but I am guessing it was around 18. I knew a little bit about credit - some from tidbits shared by different teachers in high school, and some from my parents, and some from my friends. Guess whose advice was the worst? Guess who I listened too? At my Visa card's website, I can see every transaction since 2001. I have shredded the statements that go beyond seven years, but I can still go and visit with my stupidity any time I want. I can revel in all that I am still paying for. Wedding flowers ($600) for my first wedding. A painting on my wall for my 30th birthday ($300). A honeymoon in Mexico ($2500). Emergency surgery for the stupid cat that ate a pin ($1,000).
DEBT IS STUPID
Every few months my credit card company was so kind as to raise my limit. How nice of them. My limit is currently at $18,300. I owe $18,170. Did I mention that I, myself, am not employed? I don't put stupid stuff on my card. My card's purpose for us, for the past three years, is to make up for the extra days left of the pay period, when there are more days than money. We gotta eat. We gotta get gas. Yet the stupid comes from not having a plan when we get the paycheck in the first place. If you don't rule your money, it will rule you. We would always marvel at how the entire check would disappear in a matter of 24 hours after receiving it. (Bills! I swear!) Then we had 13 more days to figure out how to survive until the next one came. Debt currently acquires 45% of the monthly take-home pay. That is utter stupidity and it is no way to live a life. I don't want to serve this master anymore. You can't imagine the stress it places on our lives. I won't say that our marriage is stressed - thankfully we are both on the same page - we just never knew how to break the cycle. Until now.
We expect that it will take around 36 months to work our debt snowball.
Total credit card debt $27,000
Student Loan $5,000
Second Mortgage $27,000
Car $16,000
401-K loans $4,000
Personal loan $15,000 (?)
These numbers piss me off. I haven't looked at it quite this way. Ever. I was afraid to. We aren't extravagant people. We just made a lot of little mistakes along the way - and they have added up into pretty big and nasty numbers. We married the wrong people the first time around. Funny how you have to take a financial hit to get out of a marriage. The second mortgage you see up there? I took it out two months after my first husband left me. I had to pay my parents off for our wedding expenses ($12,000). I had to pay him his share of the home equity (minus his half of the wedding expenses), so the house would become mine alone ($14,000). Had I known then what I found out about him later, I would have sued the bastard for adultery and he would have paid ME! Instead, I get the insulting luxury of continuing to pay this debt month after month (which has only gone down by $1,000 in seven years), while he blew his windfall on a new pick-up truck. Jerk.
See? Debt just eats away at your soul. The student loan for the degree for the career that I don't have. Stupid. The personal loan to pay the lawyer to get custody of the child. Not stupid, just heart-wrenching.
You may ask (I know my mother does) why are you putting such personal stuff on your blog? Because I am mad. Because I want my life to change. Because a lot of my personal hurts are tied up with all of the bullshit I just talked about. I won't heal unless we deal with this mess - and it helps to write out my hurts. Because we won't move forward and be able to provide our children with the experiences they should have when we are scrounging for loose change every month. Because I know it will make a difference for us, and I hope that the experiences that I share will help others. Maybe you?
"Deliver yourself like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, and like a bird from the hand of the fowler."
-Proverbs 6:5
You are the gazelle, running for your life. The cheetah represents debt. It will hunt you down. It will follow you all the days of your life - if you let it. Run like a gazelle! RUN! Focus with all your energy and might to get away. Focus on ridding yourself of the chains of debt. All good things are possible when you believe it. Prayer helps too. I may have to rethink my personal position on that one...
