It is so easy to go a little nuts when the holidays roll around... you pick up something here... you pick up something there.. and then you forget about half the stuff you bought already... and you forget the stuff you ordered online... you go into a store and see the toy display and change your whole game plan...
Sigh.
I don't remember how it came up in conversation, but a few years ago I got some advice from a fellow home schooling mom, Gail, about how to pare down the gifts and set the expectations to a more realistic level. I've changed up the list somewhat to suit our kid's needs, but the premise remains the same.
Why was change necessary?
In years past, the kids have been spoiled. Rotten.
You feel, as a parent, that if you don't have a humongous pile of presents for your children under the Christmas tree by Christmas Eve, you have failed. Your children will hate you. For years to come, they will sit on the couch in their therapist's office and lament at how stingy you were.
It's society's fault. The commercials you see on T.V. The displays in the stores. The magazines and the websites. They all show a disgusting amount of money being spent - all for a few moments of Hallmark Moment glory, before it disintegrates into "Where in the hell are we going to put all of this stuff??" or "PUT AWAY YOUR @^#&$*% TOYS!!!" All the while, your children are looking at you, completely bewildered, because they don't know exactly 'where' anything else can fit into the playroom.
So. YES. change was necessary.
Gail's list was simple, formulaic, and actually ingenious - because it took the craziness out of the season and gave you a concrete structure to go on. Here is my version of the wish list that I go by...
Before Christmas...
1. An ornament. Every child gets an ornament from us each year. This is a family tradition that I grew up with, and I wanted to do it for my kids. I keep a record of all the ornaments they either receive or make each year, so that they know when they got stuff. When the time comes for them to leave home, they can take their ornaments and memories with them. Makes me sad, but that is what I got to do at that age - and I love that I have all of those ornaments still on my tree, every Christmas. The ornament, if possible, ties into what has captured the child's interest in the past year - a favorite character, activity, color, ect... I do tend to splurge on this item.. in the past couple of years it has come from the Hallmark store (because, as a kid, mine did too...) BUT. Now that we are shopping for four - that means an easy $60 is dropped right there. Ouch.
2. Advent goodies. In the past I had three different Advent things that we do - this year we will have four, so each child takes a turn doing something different. One is a felt calendar of a Christmas tree that has star-shaped buttons that mini-ornaments hang from. The kids rotate turns hanging another ornament each day. Another calendar is a wooden gingerbread house with numbered advent doors. There is enough room to stuff four little chocolate candies in each compartment, or every few days or so I will put in dollar coins (I only fill the compartment early in the morning of the day of..). The third is an advent candle that has the numbered days going down it - light it each day. The final one is one I will start this year, if I can... - the Lego advent calendar. I missed it last year because I hesitated and they sold out... not this year!! Another advent thing to do is to use those little gauzy bags that you use at weddings or showers to put party favors in. You can buy packages of them at craft stores for pretty cheap. You fill up 24 bags with little trinkets, small toys, hair stuff or fun jewelry, coins or candy and then place them in a open-lid gift box. Take out a bag a day. My SIL did that for the kids about three years ago, and it was a BIG hit with the kids. Another friend, Amanda, wraps up the family collection of Christmas story books every year, and each night, the kids take turns choosing one to unwrap and read. No purchase necessary - except for the wrapping paper, which you can snag during end-of-season sales.
Christmas Eve..
- A new pair of pjs
Christmas Morning..
(wrapped and under the tree)
- A book
- A game (sometimes this is a combined family gift)
- A toy
- A new outfit
- Something for art or crafting (model kit, paints, clay, playdoh)
(In the stocking)
- socks
- toothbrush and toothpaste
- nail polish, lip balm or hair accessories for Rylan
- body wash for Jordan
- Matchbox cars for Owen and Colin
- Candy
- DVD movie (if good deals are to be had...)
(From Santa)
- The one item they asked (begged) for the most, as long as the price is within reason
So... the list is set, and only ONE item per child per category is purchased. I have, in the past, gone overboard stuffing the stockings with this and that and the other... the expense just goes through the roof. I know exactly what I need and I make the best choices I can in each category - balancing needs vs. wants. The biggest 'wow' factor is reserved for the Santa gift... leaving the magic exactly where it belongs.
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