I just spent $4K and I was so relieved. What is wrong with me?

Orthodontia is expensive.

Thank you mom and dad for providing the funds to fix my teeth all those years ago.  I now feel your pain.  I don't know how much it impacted you financially, but I am sure it wasn't easy.  So thank you.

Almost three years ago the dentist warned us that Jordan was going to need some ortho work.  He suggested first trying a nite guide.  It would cost $3200 for all of the dental work and the actual appliance.  They would require the entire amount up front.  We had a $1500 lifetime ortho benefit, but the remaining amount was more than we had left available in our ADP account.  It would have to wait until the next January when ADP started over.  We recalculated how much to divert to ADP.  He got the appliance next January. 

Fast forward almost two years and the appliance was not doing what needed to be done.  The dentist gave me a referral almost a year ago to go consult with the orthodontist to see if we needed to do something different.  I didn't make the call.  I kept forgetting, but then it also got to the point that Jordan wasn't wearing his nite guard like he was supposed to.  I told him we would not be consulting with an orthodontist (and spending loads of money) if he wasn't going to make the effort to take care of his teeth.  So, he quickly resumed wearing it.  Most mornings I found it lying next to his pillow, so I am not surprised it didn't help..

I called the orthodontist in November, after the dentist said at the check-up visit in October that it was time to get the ball rolling.  I called to schedule a consultation, and the first opening was in January.

About that time, (mid-November) Dean informed me that we had $1100 left in our ADP account.  We had over-estimated how much we would need for this year, and if you don't use it you lose it - despite the fact that it is your money to begin with!  I got orthotics, but, dang it, that was covered.  I made a dentist appointment for me - which hasn't happend yet.  Then, the orthodontist called back and said that they had a cancellation, and could get us in at the end of the week.  yesssss!  A way to use the money!!!

Appointment day came, and we went in to the rather posh waiting room.  Surprisingly enough, there is no little kids corner.  There is a nice theater room, with several chairs.  There is a nice gaming room with 6 different gaming stations.  No kid corner.  Apparently the constant stream of teenagers coming through at any given moment have NO younger brothers and sisters.  I checked Jordan in, got the paperwork, took the little kids and went back out to the car.  I can't concentrate on paperwork and keep track of kids.  When Jordan finished the consult and came back out, I went back in, and 'consulted' with the finance lady.  She showed me a neat video showing exactly what they would need to do to Jordan's teeth.  She showed me the treatment plan.  She explained the finances.  I was sooo relieved.

Total cost of treatment was $5500.  They would give a $1500 credit for the nite guard as a thank you for the referral from the dentist.  We could use a big chunk of our remaining ADP for this year.  If there is any left after my dentist appointment, we can give them a call on Dec.30th and apply the rest - down to the penny.  Next year, we can make a big payment in January, using ADP.  The following year we can make another payment (much smaller) using ADP.  I was so relieved, I nearly cried.  I think I surprised the finance lady by how thrilled I was with the payment plan.

For two years now we have been sweating with how we would pay for this.  It wasn't nearly as much as I thought it was going to be.  It was such a relief that they didn't require it all at once.  They were so nice to give us a price break after spending all of that money on an appliance that didn't even work. 

After living on the financial brink for the last three months, it was a nice bit of news and a huge relief that, for the most part, we wouldn't feel it.  We have become so used to shunting 'x' amount of pre-tax dollars every paycheck off to ADP to cover the medical expenses that insurance doesn't cover (co-pays and medications) for a family of six, that we don't even notice it anymore.

I signed the paperwork and didn't even pause.  What is wrong with me?  We are agreeing to spend a lot of money here, and I am not even giving it a second thought?!  I am not even asking for second opinion?  I haven't even met the orthodontist that is going to be messing with Jordan's mouth!  It bothers me that there is such a disconnect here.  Since we are 'sheltered', in a way, from the actual sting of paying such a huge amount of money, it was so easy to just sign on the dotted line.  I have to keep reminding myself that yes... $4100 dollars will be coming out of our pockets over the next two years.  We have no more ortho coverage.  The usage of an ADP account makes it 'feel' like credit, even though every dollar in there was put in there, a little amount at a time, with each and every paycheck. 

This is a critical point that Dave Ramsey makes in his Financial Peace University course.  Through rampant over-consumption and abuse of credit, most of us have become immune to the 'pain' of big expenditures.  We don't even blink.  or pause.  or ask questions.  There is a lot more pain involved in handing over actual cash, than a piece of plastic.

A lot of my friends are going through the same experience right now.  We all have kids that have attained the age where braces are necessary.  It is a mutual financial pain that we all share.  I just have to keep reminding myself to also think about this from Jordan's perspective.  He's the one that has to go without popcorn for the next 18 months.  Or his all-time favorite candy, Hot Tamales.  Poor kid.

Saving up for the big stuff..



As I mentioned before, we started shifting money into our savings account to save up for upcoming expenditures.  One the items was the 60K mile service on our Honda van.  We are about to leave on a road trip, and the odometer reads 69K... so we were way overdue.

Our van is no longer under warranty (for the most part) and I am doing a happy dance.  I have had a great deal of difficulty with the dealership when it comes to getting oil changes or service.  They are over-the-top when it comes to amenities, but the customer service personnel is another issue.  They aren't exactly polite when it comes to being around kids.  Especially when you have four of them.  I took the van in for an oil change recently, so that I could redeem a punch card for a free one.  We were quoted 45 minutes for our wait time.  We were there 2 hours and 10 minutes.  For an oil change, people!!!  Four kids and a stressed-out mom, crammed into a 6x8 playroom, for 2 hours and 10 minutes.  I may or may not have been responsible for some verbal abuse as I was paying my bill.  The best way to get out on time is to take your cranky kids back out to the service desk area at the appointed time, and let them go full boar.  Then you politely ask, "Dude!  Where's my car?" 

This time we happily took our car to our regular mechanic, Tom.  Tom works only on imports, and I have been taking my cars to him since I was 16.  We had our old Subaru Forester up until this past April, when the head gasket blew climbing a mountain pass, so we haven't seen him in awhile.  It was actually one of his mechanics that took the vehicle off of our hands for $500.  We were thrilled!  We were facing the very real possibility that we would only be able to sell if for scrap - and get *maybe* $100 for it.  So, since our van is now out of warranty - I was all too happy to finally bring it around to see Tom.

Following advice we received from Financial Peace University, we called ahead a couple of months ago to find out what the estimated amount for the service would be so that we could begin saving.  We divided it up the amount, spread it out between the paychecks, and saved up the $400 we would need.  That was a generous estimate, but it was nice to know it would be there.

The car was worked on yesterday, and I went back in the late afternoon to pick it up.  I was double-checking the bank balance on the way (my dad was driving), but just about had a mini-heart attack when I saw what was left in our checking account.  I was dropping off the mortgage payment that afternoon as well, (yeah - we were paying on the last day of the grace period...), and adding the two amounts together (mortgage and car)- it was more than was in the checking account.  WHAT???  I went into shock!  How could this have happened?  We have been so careful!  It took a full minute for me to realize that the money for the car service WAS there.  It was just over in the savings account.  We have been operating for so long (YEARS) with nothing but the minimum balance in the savings account ($25 bucks) that I completely forgot it was there.

Thank you Dave Ramsey!  What a feeling of relief to know that the money was there and that the money was meant for nothing else but the car service.  I wouldn't be shorting us for grocery or gas money, or be unable to pay some other bill because had I paid for the car service.  In the past, that was the vicious cycle.  Rob from one item to pay for another.

So, since it felt so good to have this money there and ready to go, and I like this feeling and I want to continue it, I called up Tom this morning and asked him when the next scheduled service is and what the cost estimate would be.  He told me 90K and around $1200.  It is a doozy of a service because a lot of things need to be replaced at that point.  That makes sense...  So.  We are at 69K right now.  We average 900 miles a month.  Each trip to OK is about 3K, and we go 2 -3 times a year.  We are not planning any other trips at this time because our focus is to pay off debt - not blow it on a trip.  So, I figure we will need this service in about 16 - 18 months.  Divide it out and I come up with $40 each paycheck.  That hurts a lot less than trying to come up with $1200 all at once.

So save your pennies - but give a name to each and every one and make a plan for those pennies!  The peace of mind is worth every penny.  :)

Penny for your thoughts??

(okay, that was corny)

How to reign in the desire to pile on the presents



It is so easy to go a little nuts when the holidays roll around... you pick up something here... you pick up something there.. and then you forget about half the stuff you bought already... and you forget the stuff you ordered online... you go into a store and see the toy display and change your whole game plan...

Sigh.

I don't remember how it came up in conversation, but a few years ago I got some advice from a fellow home schooling mom, Gail, about how to pare down the gifts and set the expectations to a more realistic level.  I've changed up the list somewhat to suit our kid's needs, but the premise remains the same.

Why was change necessary?



In years past, the kids have been spoiled.  Rotten.

You feel, as a parent, that if you don't have a humongous pile of presents for your children under the Christmas tree by Christmas Eve, you have failed.  Your children will hate you.  For years to come, they will sit on the couch in their therapist's office and lament at how stingy you were.

It's society's fault.  The commercials you see on T.V.  The displays in the stores.  The magazines and the websites.  They all show a disgusting amount of money being spent - all for a few moments of Hallmark Moment glory, before it disintegrates into "Where in the hell are we going to put all of this stuff??"  or "PUT AWAY YOUR @^#&$*% TOYS!!!"  All the while, your children are looking at you, completely bewildered, because they don't know exactly 'where' anything else can fit into the playroom.

So.  YES.  change was necessary.

Gail's list was simple, formulaic, and actually ingenious - because it took the craziness out of the season and gave you a concrete structure to go on.  Here is my version of the wish list that I go by...

Before Christmas...

1. An ornament.  Every child gets an ornament from us each year.  This is a family tradition that I grew up with, and I wanted to do it for my kids.  I keep a record of all the ornaments they either receive or make each year, so that they know when they got stuff.  When the time comes for them to leave home, they can take their ornaments and memories with them.  Makes me sad, but that is what I got to do at that age - and I love that I have all of those ornaments still on my tree, every Christmas.  The ornament, if possible, ties into what has captured the child's interest in the past year - a favorite character, activity, color, ect...  I do tend to splurge on this item.. in the past couple of years it has come from the Hallmark store (because, as a kid, mine did too...)  BUT.  Now that we are shopping for four - that means an easy $60 is dropped right there.  Ouch.

2. Advent goodies.  In the past I had three different Advent things that we do - this year we will have four, so each child takes a turn doing something different.  One is a felt calendar of a Christmas tree that has star-shaped buttons that mini-ornaments hang from.  The kids rotate turns hanging another ornament each day.  Another calendar is a wooden gingerbread house with numbered advent doors.  There is enough room to stuff four little chocolate candies in each compartment, or every few days or so I will put in dollar coins (I only fill the compartment early in the morning of the day of..).  The third is an advent candle that has the numbered days going down it - light it each day.  The final one is one I will start this year, if I can... - the Lego advent calendar.  I missed it last year because I hesitated and they sold out... not this year!!  Another advent thing to do is to use those little gauzy bags that you use at weddings or showers to put party favors in.  You can buy packages of them at craft stores for pretty cheap.  You fill up 24 bags with little trinkets, small toys, hair stuff or fun jewelry, coins or candy and then place them in a open-lid gift box.  Take out a bag a day.  My SIL did that for the kids about three years ago, and it was a BIG hit with the kids.  Another friend, Amanda, wraps up the family collection of Christmas story books every year, and each night, the kids take turns choosing one to unwrap and read.  No purchase necessary - except for the wrapping paper, which you can snag during end-of-season sales.

Christmas Eve..

• A new pair of pjs

Christmas Morning..

 (wrapped and under the tree)

• A book
• A game (sometimes this is a combined family gift)
• A toy
• A new outfit
• Something for art or crafting (model kit, paints, clay, playdoh)

(In the stocking)

• socks
• toothbrush and toothpaste
• nail polish, lip balm or hair accessories for Rylan
• body wash for Jordan
• Matchbox cars for Owen and Colin
• Candy
• DVD movie (if good deals are to be had...)

(From Santa)

• The one item they asked (begged) for the most, as long as the price is within reason

So... the list is set, and only ONE item per child per category is purchased.  I have, in the past, gone overboard stuffing the stockings with this and that and the other... the expense just goes through the roof.  I know exactly what I need and I make the best choices I can in each category - balancing needs vs. wants.  The biggest 'wow' factor is reserved for the Santa gift... leaving the magic exactly where it belongs.

Get out of the rut!



It's no secret that we are on a tight budget (especially since I've blabbed on and on about it on the www and even dedicated an entire blog to it...).  So it has become routine for family members to fill me in when this or that store is having a sale.  A big one came up recently, when my SIL called to say that Sears was putting a lot of their Land's End stuff on clearance. (thanks for thinking of me Michelle!)  I love Land's End!  I started doing calculations in my head.  Some of our clothing needs are critical... Jordan didn't get a new wardrobe last fall because everything still fit... now he has had a growth spurt and we are in trouble.  Same with Rylan.  The shirts still fit for the most part, but her pants are an issue.  And she has no winter coat.  And Jordan only has two pair of shoes: crocs and hiking boots.  That is a problem.   Thank goodness that Owen and Colin are just swimming in clothes - many, many thanks to some wonderful friends (Amanda and Dalliss) who have been frequently passing on clothing, coats and hiking boots to me - you are a godsend!!)

So I am doing the calculations: our needs are great.  But the money... hmm.  We sat down a month ago and planned out the next three paychecks.  We are really getting the swing of working the cashflow down to the penny.  Unplanned Halloween expenses (mainly food) threw a nasty twist into the budget, so I know there is no wiggle room.  We had set aside $100 from that cash flow to tackle the three biggest clothing concerns: a winter coat for Rylan, tennis shoes for Jordan and a pair of pants for Jordan.  When we plan out this month's two paychecks tonight at our budget meeting, we can see when we can put some more money aside for clothing.   

In the past, when I got wind of a big sale, I would just yank out the credit card in a flash and reap the rewards.  The savings!  The big haul!  LOOK at how much stuff we got for just $XX!!  Yes, I have taken advantage of many deals in the past.  And now the credit card company is taking advantage of my inability to show restraint.  To the tune of $460 a month in interest.

We went to our last Financial Peace University class last week.  We jumped in on the third class, so it has been ten weeks of some pretty intense learning.  I am sad the class is done.  It felt like a support group... like an AA meeting or something.  We could all commiserate about having to live on a budget.  I feel a little worried about not having the weekly support anymore, and that it might be easy to slip into some old habits.  The class is thirteen weeks for a reason: it takes that long to establish a habit.  We have gotten into the habit of not even considering the credit cards as an option.  If it is not on the budget sheet, we don't buy it.  I didn't budget extra money for clothes, therefore I did not go down to Sears to check out the sale.  I felt bad, but I didn't go because if I had spent that money, it would have meant that something else couldn't be purchased.  When the cash is gone, it's gone.  It is amazing though, how deeply entrenched that habit of using the credit card is.  That neural pathway of using the card as a way to acquire goods has been trodden down.  Much like the Oregon Trail.  You can still see the wagon wheel ruts.  The credit card ruts will remain for a long, long time.  Probably as long as it will take to pay off the stupid things.

Thanks, but no thanks

I have mindfully practiced the habit of checking the bank balance and credit accounts on a daily basis to guard against theft.  There has been an alarming increase in identity thefts/fraudulent use of debit cards in the past few weeks in our neck of the woods.  My aunt was a victim.  Our bank account is easy to check because we have reduced our debit card use to about 5 transactions (not including bill pay) a month.  I'm not kidding.

So yesterday, when I checked my credit card, which carries the biggest, ugliest balance of them all, I was surprised to see that they had increased my credit limit.  By A LOT.  ummmm... thanks?  Don't these people know I am (for all intensive purposes) unemployed?

So I called them up.  I politely asked if they would consider reducing my interest rate (19.9%) instead.  The lady put me on hold, turned around to consult with her imaginary manager, and then came back and told me 'no'.  Really?  Even though I've paid over the minimum and on time for over 12 months??  No.  You suck, Visa!!  But then she gave what she thought was a tantalizing offer: 0% interest for the next 12 months on all new purchases.  ooooo.  I informed her that this particular deal was of no interest to me because I was not planning on using my card.  ever.  again.  To which I was met with silence..

People, I'll say it again...  Debt.   is.   stupid.

Now I need to brush up on my negotiating skills and call back.  And talk to the fictious manager.  Because I've been a responsible bill payer.  I want my reduced-rate reward.  Not more debt.

Financial Planning: Holiday expenditures for the Fall



Have a plan for your money, or it will make the plans for you

(and you may not like those plans, particularly...)

Simple Mom posted a reminder about Holiday Budget Planning recently - and it was time to get started.  Well, it is too late for us to plan for this round of holidays, but it got me thinking and planning for next year.  Fly Lady also got me thinking about how to plan for holidays in the first place - only do what the family actually wants to do - not because you think you ought to.

So to pass the time on a longer car trip we took this past weekend, I wrote out a list (with every one's input) of the Fall/Halloween Activities that we like doing and want to do every year - or at least while the kids are young.

* Pumpkin patch visit.  (We always go to the same one - Bartel's Farm)

* Gleaning (again, we always go to the same farm - Miller Farms)

* Treatsylvania (a local, just-for-little-kids Trick-or-Treating event)

* Centennial Village (a local, just-for-little-kids Trick-or-Treating event )

* Trick-or-Treat Street at Dean's workplace

* Halloween trick-or-treating

* Pumpkin carving

* Fall colors drive/elk bugling

* Visit to the Denver Zoo

* Trunk-or-Treat at our church

* Make caramel apples

* Oktoberfest family gathering

* Apple cider & popcorn family game night

* Toasted pumpkin seeds

* Parties and the food items we bring along

Then, I priced out each activity.  Trick-or-Treating also means costumes and candy.  We make our own costumes, but sometimes I still need to purchase a few things.. material, paint, ect... 

The total was just under $300.  That is a lot of money to just come up with on the fly... yet you don't think about it as the fall season approaches.  We started actively zero-based budgeting in September, so we planned for about half of these items.  The other half - mainly the food items, were not really well thought out, so our food budget took a real hit the last half of this month.  Oops.  Live and learn.  So, beginning next month, $25 will be budgeted each month to go towards the Fall/Halloween fund.

So this is where true discipline takes place.  The money that we save towards long-term planned expenditures needs to reside in a safe place - our savings account - and not be touched.  We need to create virtual envelopes within our savings account so that we know how much of the savings is allocated to what expense item.

Enter the savings account spreadsheet.  As we begin each virtual envelope, we just add it to the list.  We have created a few this past month...

* 60K car service that will be performed next month, the week before we leave for OKC for Thanksgiving

* fuel/eating expenses for our trip to OKC

* Annual license plate tags, due in Jan.

* Furnace maintenance check next month

Unfortunately, there is only so much $$ to go around, so there is no way to set up something now for the xmas holidays. I honestly don't know where we will come up with the funds necessary for that.  I'll have to think about that tomorrow.  Or the day after that.  Or... the day after that.  Sigh.

Do I REALLY need you in my life?

We've all been there.  That moment in time when you came across something in a store that just called out to you.  Maybe it was the color.  Or the smell.  Or how it sparkled.  So you bought it.  You brought it home and it sat on the kitchen counter for a few days.  You would look at that shopping bag and think to yourself, "Oh yeah, I've got to find a place to put that!  So it sits.  You begin to resent that stupid bag.  It eventually gets shoved somewhere as you get in a frenzy to clean off your kitchen counter, because people were coming over.  You will discover it next Spring at the bottom of your coat closet.  Or in that dark corner of the bookshelf.  Or behind the piano.  Or in the bottom of the toy bin that contains all of the crappy broken toys. 

It is time to engage in a new mental game when you go shopping. 

1.  Use the buddy system.  Preferably not the buddy that would say, "Oh!! That looks absolutely adorable on you!!!"  Use the buddy that is the other side of the marital equation.  The one that you balance the checkbook with.  Each purchase over a predefined $$ amount should have joint approval.

2.  MAKE A SHOPPING LIST.  I have two separate shopping lists - an itemized, aisle-by-aisle grocery store list for the store I always go to, and an itemized list for Target grouped by category.  I fill out each list in detail before I even leave the house.  I even have a subtotal in mind before I go.  I have already justified the purchase of everything because I know we need it.  I am not guessing that we are low on flour or sugar - I know we are.

3.  Don't take the kids unless they are an asset to the mission (ex - they keep the running total on the calculator or they fetch products from the shelves as you go).  If you are sucker for peer pressure, you will be thwarted on each and every shopping trip.  You also don't want the baby's first coherent sentence to be "It's not in the budget!". (Then again, maybe you do...)

4.  Have a plan for how you will use the object you so desire.  New set of mixing bowls?  Where exactly will you store them?  Are they replacing your old set?  (You had better be saying 'yes').  How often will you use them?  Can they take heavy use?  Can you put every kind of ingredient in them?  (you don't want to mix anything tomato-based in a metal bowl)  Do you really need 10 different sizes or can you get by with five?  Is the largest size really going to be able to handle the big jobs like the monster-sized pasta salad recipe your aunt gave you?  Can you multipurpose the mixing bowls to be used as serving bowls as well?

5.  Use FIFO.  First In First Out.  If you are buying new socks, out with the old.  If you are buying new jeans when you have four pairs at home, give away the oldest or oddest-fitting pair.  Don't bring in something new without getting rid of something else.  This especially goes for toys!!!

6.  Justify it, justify it, justify it.  Do you REALLY need this item?  Do you really need the latest book hot-off-the-press when you have at least 10 unread novels currently sitting on your bedside table, and four others checked out from the library?  (of this offense I am guilty, guilty, guilty)  Do you really need another coat when you have six in the closet already?  Do you really need that trip to Sonic when you could spend a fourth of the money and make due with a carton of ice cream, milk, ice and a blender?

I had to really work hard on this lesson a couple of weeks ago when I went to Barnes and Noble to use my $25 birthday gift card.  Twenty-five is enough to buy about two books.  I had the whole store to explore and no kids - what a gift!  I kept reminding myself about 'need' vs. 'want'.  I had to ask myself several questions:

* would I read it more than once in the next two years?

* is it something I would absolutely want my own copy of?

* is it available from the library?

* how long have I wanted to read it?

I finally chose my two books: The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan, and The Elements of Cooking by Michael Ruhlman.  I have wanted both for a long, long time.  They will now join the ten as-of-yet-unread novels sitting on my bedside table.  At least they are in good company.

KaBOOM!!



Every good debt snowball needs a good stick of dynamite to set it off.  The faster you can get it rolling, the faster it will grow.   In July we got wind that a stick of dynamite was coming our way.. we just didn't know exactly when.  Dean is an electrical engineer and works for a good company.  We have been blessed many times over in recent years that as round after round of layoffs were announced, Dean was always spared.  But less hands on deck means more work for everyone else, so Dean and his fellow team have had to work extra hard on their different projects.  The company has been good though, and has rewarded the hard work with an annual profit-sharing bonus last year and this year.  Now I wish I was talking about a lot of money here, but it comes out somewhere in the 3 - 4 K range.  Last year we paid off a credit card and took a short vacation.  And then we promptly racked up charges on the credit card over the past year because we hadn't changed our ways.  Oh well - at least we have nice vacation memories - nothing to sniff at.  But nothing to show for it either.  We had no idea if he was going to get another one this year, but as luck would have it - yes!  Then we 'met' Dave Ramsey.  We have seen the light so to speak, and have been humbled.

For the past month, we have lived on a very hairy edge.  We have had to use every financial life line we had to get by.  We cashed in stock options.  ($300 - big deal.... but it paid for groceries and gas), we cashed out a small investment fund... ($125), we had to spend our birthday money to keep the balance in the checking account to keep from going negative (when things get better, we both promised ourselves that we would spend that birthday money on something fun, as it was intended).  As we used each life line, I could hear a ricochet in my head as if a taut wire was cut and the ends were flying apart with a loud crack.  We were NOT going to use our credit cards.  Because we couldn't.  They were each within $100 of their limits.  The past six months have not been kind.  So many 'things' have come up, each with a pressing need, and our spending far out-paced any time in the past.  Our day of reconciliation had come - and yes we were humbled.  A couple of days here and there I fed the kids and only nibbled myself.  We cleaned out the cupboards.  We rationed milk, eggs, flour, sugar and the gas in the car.  It was raw, hard and intense.  And I never felt so alive!

I won't say that I ENJOY this experience, but it certainly brings a clarity to your life that was previously unknown to either of us.  I mentioned to Dean how frightened I was when we cut our last life line last week (the stock option) and he said that he felt like it was a freeing experience.  It was a testament to our faith.  God was guiding this experience, and asking us to trust that if we let go, that we would at last be truly free to take this problem by the horns and really deal with it.  Okay - just a moment here, because Dean never talks like this.  Only one other time that I can think of, when Dean mentioned divine intervention as the way we were brought together in the first place.  I'm sure that Dean's family thinks that I have drummed religion out of Dean's life.  I haven't.  I didn't drum it out of mine either.  It just sort of 'happened' - for both of us.  When you feel dead inside, the spark of faith starts to sputter.  We both have strayed from feeling 'moved' by much of anything, until now.  The process is working, we always manage to find a dollar or two in the time of need, and we have to have faith that it will continue.  And for that, I give thanks and feel truly humbled.

The day that the stock option money was supposed to be transferred to our account (last Friday), we had already experience a slight reprieve from the day before, when I sold about three things from Craig's List.  We had $45 dollars and we felt rich!  lol...  Then Dean checked the bank balance that morning, to see if it was there yet, because the city bill HAD to be paid ASAP.  You can't deal with the rest of your troubles when you don't have power or water.  Low and behold... there was the bonus.  The heavens opened up and 380,000 pennies came raining down.  What a gift!  And we were not about to waste it.  On with the program!

Baby Step #1

The first step to Financial Peace (besides STOP using the credit cards) is to put away an emergency fund.  The typical amount is one thousand dollars.  This way, if a true emergency crops up, you don't run to your credit cards to cover it.  Done.

Baby Step #2

Pay off your debt using the Debt snowball method.  We paid off every item that we were behind on.  Luckily, we were only behind a month on about four things, so it didn't take too much.  Then, we took aim at the first debt on our list.  Checking account overdraft.  This little cretin is such a pain.  We pay it off, and it just comes back.  Again and again.  We are going to see if we can just get this option removed from our account altogether so it doesn't happen again.  Or at least decrease the amount that is available.  Next, we took aim at the next debt on the list.  One of Dean's credit cards.  We threw one thousand at it.  The next regularly scheduled payment is due at the end of September.  Here is where the debt snowball method comes in.  The overdraft loan payment was $30 each month.  Now we don't have to make that $30 dollar payment anymore, but we keep it in the budget anyway, and apply it in addition to the next credit card's minimum payment of $88.  So we now pay $30 + $88 towards that card.  When that card is paid off - hopefully by early spring, we will put $30 + $88 + minimum towards the next card.  The the snowball just continues to grow and grow.  In the meantime, any extra money that comes our way, or that is not spoken for in the budget will be thrown at the current debt target.

For one glorious afternoon and evening (last Friday) I felt like a huge weight had been lifted.  We even went out to eat.  And then felt immediately guilty the next day when we paid every thing we could and realized that our food budget for the rest of the week was going to be strained.  I spent 3 hours just shopping King Soopers for produce and Walmart for everything else.  I only had $150 in our grocery cash envelope, and there I was going up and down the aisles, with a calculator, trying to make it all fit.  I put eleven items back.  I still came out $11 over, and had to take it from the gas cash envelope.  That means we are back to gas rationing.  Sucks.  But I like being back on the hairy edge.  It keeps you honest!

It is the best feeling to finally get our snowball rolling. 

It feels dy-no-mite!!

(okay, that was cheesey...)

"Sell so much of your 'stuff', your kids will think they're next"...



So we are in the midst of a massive Craig's List sell-off in order to raise funds for our "stick of dynamite".  I've managed to off-load a handful of baby items and a couple of other things so far.  I like Craig's List - it is very efficient.  It can be a pain to get stuff posted on there, but it is worth it because things typically disappear within 24 hours.

Here are some tricks...

* Take a picture.  Nothing is better than having an actual picture to look at.  Make it as flattering a picture as possible.  Keep in mind of what is in the background.  Nobody wants to see a messy room behind what it is you are selling - it is distracting.  I have taken to creating a 'staging' area on my kitchen table.  I spread out a light yellow table cloth on the table.  I remove all of the chairs and shut the blinds.  It makes for a wonderful neutral backdrop.  If it is big, I move the kitchen table out, make sure the floor is clean, and put the item on the floor.

* Include as much information as you can in your post.  I have no shame - I'll admit it - I copy and paste like a demon when it comes to giving information.  I'll steal descriptions from Amazon, eBay, other Craig's List posts - all in the name of saving time.  Since a lot of what I am selling is brand name - like Fisher Price, I can find product descriptions pretty easily.  Give accurate dimensions, descriptions of any defects and so forth.

* Include bonus info like that it came from a non-smoking home, that you have owner's manuals, and stuff like that...

* CLEAN IT!  Vacuum it out, wash it, scrub it, dust it...anything to remove any and all traces that suggest use.  You want it to look pristine.  - Same goes if you are holding a garage sale instead.

* Include your phone number.  When people see something they want, they typically want it NOW.  If you give your phone number, that says (at least to me anyway) that I will be much more likely to get what I want - and quicker too.

* Give your first name with the phone number, and also include your husband's.  If you don't have a husband, invent one. Ex: If interested, please contact Kirsten or Dean at xxx-xxxx.

* Use your best judgment when inviting someone over to view or purchase the item.  I've only had female customers so far, with the exception of when we sold our stove and our W&D.  For all of the females, I went with my gut.  I've haven't had a bad experience yet of getting an 'off' feeling.  Mostly it is just mom-to-mom kind of stuff, and that always makes me feel good.  We chat about our kids, exchange money and goods and we're done.  Any other time, I arrange a pick-up in the evening, when Dean is home.

* If you are selling a lot, keep a spreadsheet.  That way you can keep track of when you listed it, how much you are selling it for, when you sold it and how much you made.  Kind of cool to look at it over time. 

* Always check current listings before you put your item up.  No one will be interested in your bouncy seat if there are five others currently available too.  Best to wait a couple of weeks and try again.

* If you are patient, dedicate a safe place to keep stuff while you are selling it.  That way, if you have to wait to post something, it will stay clean and in one piece.

* Immediately delete a posting after you sell something.  It's only courteous.

* Wait until the right season.  Choose September/early October to sell that Halloween costume.  Don't try to sell inflatable pool toys in January.

*Wait a few days, and if there are no bites, go back and choose the option to renew your posting.  This is a new feature - and you can move your item back to the top of the stack.

*If you can, post your stuff late on a Friday night or at the crack of dawn on Saturday.  Early Saturday morning Craig's List addicts will start calling!

Lastly - don't blow your money that you make selling the stuff.  Take it directly to the bank, and put it towards your debt snowball.  Buying all the crap you just sold is how you got there in the first place!!

CHEETAH! Ruuuuuuuuuuun!

If you know of Dave Ramsey...you know what I just said.

If you don't know of Dave Ramsey - get to know him.

TODAY



"Owe no one anything except to love one another." - Romans 13:8

Last week my mom gave me the second-most precious gift in my life.  (The first of course being my life). That may sound dramatic, but you will understand what I mean in a moment.  Mom offered to watch the kids if Dean and I wanted to go down to our church and sit in on a session of Financial Peace University.  I didn't even hesitate.

We may not be the most regular (ahem) of church-goers, but we have heard of Dave Ramsey.  I have seen his name mentioned in blog after blog - glowing reviews about how his financial advice turned their lives around and gave them their freedom from debt.   I skirted around investigating his ideas, but I always shied away because I feared that this was one of 'those' programs... 'Jesus said to do this', 'Jesus said to do that', 'Salavation cannot be yours if you are in debt...' 'You must tithe your first-born to get right with God'... okay, okay, I know I am being facetious, but when the social media-driven Christian Conservative message pendulum swings so far to the right (at times), you can't help but feel alienated and...well, like a loser if you just don't feel the same.  This isn't a religion/spiritual blog, but isn't it funny (ridiculous?) how religion and finances (and politics too, for that matter) get all tangled up with each other?

I am happy to report that it is not one of those programs.  He is funny.  He mentions God.  He mentions Bible passages.  Yet - it is the kind of message I understand and feel at home listening too.  I wish he were a minister as well - I would go every Sunday.  (Now that is saying something)  The Bible passages are advice from the ages that still rings true today.  Here is the most pertinent...

"The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender." - Proverbs 22:7

Okay - I need to breathe for a moment because I have just quoted the Bible.  Twice.  Not my style, but you have to understand where I have been, and where I want to go...

Where I have been:

How old were you when you got your first credit card?  I opened my checking account when I was 16.  I don't recall exactly when I got my Visa bankcard, but I am guessing it was around 18.  I knew a little bit about credit - some from tidbits shared by different teachers in high school, and some from my parents, and some from my friends.  Guess whose advice was the worst?  Guess who I listened too?  At my Visa card's website, I can see every transaction since 2001.  I have shredded the statements that go beyond seven years, but I can still go and visit with my stupidity any time I want.  I can revel in all that I am still paying for.  Wedding flowers ($600) for my first wedding.  A painting on my wall for my 30th birthday ($300).  A honeymoon in Mexico ($2500).  Emergency surgery for the stupid cat that ate a pin ($1,000).

DEBT IS STUPID

Every few months my credit card company was so kind as to raise my limit.  How nice of them.  My limit is currently at $18,300.  I owe $18,170.  Did I mention that I, myself, am not employed?  I don't put stupid stuff on my card.  My card's purpose for us, for the past three years, is to make up for the extra days left of the pay period, when there are more days than money.  We gotta eat.  We gotta get gas.  Yet the stupid comes from not having a plan when we get the paycheck in the first place.  If you don't rule your money, it will rule you.  We would always marvel at how the entire check would disappear in a matter of 24 hours after receiving it.  (Bills!  I swear!)  Then we had 13 more days to figure out how to survive until the next one came.  Debt currently acquires 45% of the monthly take-home pay.  That is utter stupidity and it is no way to live a life.  I don't want to serve this master anymore.  You can't imagine the stress it places on our lives.  I won't say that our marriage is stressed - thankfully we are both on the same page - we just never knew how to break the cycle.  Until now.

We expect that it will take around 36 months to work our debt snowball. 

Total credit card debt $27,000

Student Loan $5,000

Second Mortgage $27,000

Car $16,000

401-K loans $4,000

Personal loan $15,000 (?)

These numbers piss me off.  I haven't looked at it quite this way.  Ever.  I was afraid to.  We aren't extravagant people.  We just made a lot of little mistakes along the way - and they have added up into pretty big and nasty numbers.  We married the wrong people the first time around.  Funny how you have to take a financial hit to get out of a marriage.  The second mortgage you see up there?  I took it out two months after my first husband left me.  I had to pay my parents off for our wedding expenses ($12,000).  I had to pay him his share of the home equity (minus his half of the wedding expenses), so the house would become mine alone ($14,000).  Had I known then what I found out about him later, I would have sued the bastard for adultery and he would have paid ME!  Instead, I get the insulting luxury of continuing to pay this debt month after month (which has only gone down by $1,000 in seven years), while he blew his windfall on a new pick-up truck.  Jerk.

See?  Debt just eats away at your soul.  The student loan for the degree for the career that I don't have.  Stupid.  The personal loan to pay the lawyer to get custody of the child.  Not stupid, just heart-wrenching.

You may ask (I know my mother does) why are you putting such personal stuff on your blog?  Because I am mad.  Because I want my life to change.  Because a lot of my personal hurts are tied up with all of the bullshit I just talked about.  I won't heal unless we deal with this mess - and it helps to write out my hurts.  Because we won't move forward and be able to provide our children with the experiences they should have when we are scrounging for loose change every month.  Because I know it will make a difference for us, and I hope that the experiences that I share will help others.  Maybe you?

"Deliver yourself like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, and like a bird from the hand of the fowler."

-Proverbs 6:5

You are the gazelle, running for your life.  The cheetah represents debt.  It will hunt you down.  It will follow you all the days of your life - if you let it.  Run like a gazelle!  RUN!  Focus with all your energy and might to get away.  Focus on ridding yourself of the chains of debt.  All good things are possible when you believe it.  Prayer helps too.  I may have to rethink my personal position on that one...

The Art of Gift Giving

My 40th birthday (at the time of this post) has recently come and gone.  My family had asked what I would like to receive for birthday gifts.  Long ago, I decided I wanted an iPhone when my new-every-two time period was up with Verizon, so I could ditch the droid that Dean passed on to me a couple of years ago.  So what did I want?  iTunes Gift cards so I could get some long-awaited music and so forth...

Here is the nice thing about my gift choice:  it doesn't take up space.  (well, okay - it takes up a little space inside my purse).  It doesn't need to be dusted, washed, stored...  See where I am going with this?  It is not a 'thing' per se.  We have way to many 'things' in our house.  Accquiring 'things' is how we got into present problem finacial situation in the first place.

Several interesting gift-giving issues came to light this birthday:

• When purchasing a gift for someone- ask for guidance, then follow it as best as you are able
• Don't push a certain type of gift just because it will help your social agenda
• Don't offer to take the person shopping for their gift, yet leave them with no idea about how much you planned to spend - that is a very uncomfortable situation
• Don't spend more than you can afford
• When in doubt, give cash.  It's not tacky - it's perfect!
• You can never go wrong with chocolate
• Surprises are a good thing - yet expect that there will be some anxiety involoved.  Especially when dealing with an introvert...

(Consider yourself lucky.  I orginally wrote this post ten days ago when I was in the initial throes of working through an intensely unpleasant experience involving.. well.. a certain person's idea of giving me a birthday gift.  Not a happy experience.  It all went wrong with items 2 and 3 listed above.) 

PS - Always follow good blogging advice.  Let particulary acidic blog posts lay low for a few days until you are in a much calmer emotional state. 

I'm at the end of my rope..

Money has been on my mind a lot lately.  I don't know how it can't be... I have hungry children to feed and narry a dime to feed them with.  I'm not kidding.

We are currently running alongside a cliff, the edge of financial doom, slipping on the loose gravel.  I have lived the life of paycheck-to-paycheck for so long now, I don't really know how financial security is supposed to feel.  What is really scary though, is when you drag your dependants along with you.

I am frustrated enough, tired enough and scared enough that it is time to make some pretty radical changes to how we handle money.  My husband is too.  Of course we have been saying that ever since we got married, but it gets scarier every time we go through a mini-financial crisis.

Our current debt crisis began building about several months ago.  I liken it to the ripple-effect, and I blame the boy scouts.  And karate.  And oh yeah - swimming lessons.  And four children's birthdays.  I blame the boy scouts because of the sheer amount of gear that we have needed to procure in the past six months.  The karate and swimming lessons because they didn't ask me to run numbers and see if the monthly fees actually fit within our budget.  They are supposed to remind you to do that, don't you know?  And four birthdays.  Four very expensive birthdays.  Two in February and two in May.  All of it paid for by a buy-it-now, figure-out-how-to-pay-for-it later kind of thing.  Problem is, there is no more room at the end of the rope, now.  We have never used up all of our rope before.   Scary business.

Constant interruptions...

Sleep, riches and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted.

- Jean Paul Richter